I need to find some new highlight for my day. The level of apathy I function with Monday-Friday is seriously detrimental to my health. I suppose that's all I should say online although it would be nice to have a place to actually vent everything. I need to find something that is exciting and new and maybe challenging in a good way. I'm getting old and feeling like I seriously missed something along the way. I have a condo, the job I thought I wanted, a great family, fun friends... what do I need?
In other news, my condo is currently about 45 degrees. Seriously. 45. If you took a huge chunk of snow and put it in my living room, it would not melt. It's not even broken. I just don't know what to do about the problem. My work building is way too hot, home is way too cold, my body cannot handle the chaos. Luckily, I'm going to my parents' house after school for my grandpa's birthday and it's supposed to get back up in the 30s this weekend. The diet isn't working as quickly as I would like it to either. Jeez what can I even think about to make me happy right now? Daydreaming? The general amount of indifference I feel toward everything is worse than anger or frustration.
Food yesterday:
Coffee and creamer
Tuna sandwich with my homeade tuna - tuna, hardboiled egg, celery, onion, greek yogurt, chipotle, salt and pepper, mozarrella on a sandwich thin with swiss
Almonds
Chitpotle - burrito bol with black beans, vegetables, chicken, tomato, easy cheese, greek yogurt, guacamole
Smoothie of greek yogurt, half and half, cherries and cinnamon.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Just another manic Tuesday
Not really. Nothing exciting actually happened yesterday. I ate more than I was supposed to because I had this insatiable craving for an unidentified food which I never really took care of. I caught up on a little tv, had some brief conversations with friends. The truth is that the mundane-ness of my life during the week is generally quite less than riveting. Got through my day at work which is really all I ask for during these bleak months of dismal clouds and bitter cold where our heat is on so high that I need to open a window which just causes confusion in my body because it never evens out. It feels like my blood is boiling inside half the time. Students never care about their actual work which is quite disheartening when you put all of this effort into trying to teach them really important things that they are completely behind on. How much more can one person do? I'm reaching a startling level of apathy toward everything related.
Food:
6:45 a.m. - coffee and creamer
11:00 a.m. - Some Indian food package thing that was pretty healthy and very good
1 ish - A small piece of brownie that one of my co-workers made. Too attractive to pass up.
4:30 p.m. - Fiber bar
6 p.m. - a few pieces of cheese
7:30 p.m. - leftover fish and vegetables with some fresh mozarrella in strawberry balsamic on the side
8:30 p.m. - a few spoonfuls of ice cream
Throughout the night - more cheese, some granola at some point. I don't know exactly but I know I couldn't seem to stop wanting food which would explain why I am only down .6 from yesterday when I was up.
In other news, I am going on a date Friday. Dates are things I'm not too keen on. Don't get me wrong. I love getting to know guys and when that butterfly excited feeling hits, I'm all in favor. But that rarely comes from meeting a guy one time, thinking he is sort of alright, and accepting a date with him. Only once in my life have I truly been interested in a guy I met once and exchanged numbers with and that was probably because he was in no place for a relationship so he was distanced. I only like guys who do not like me... not because I have some masochistic tendency toward self-afflicted heartbreak, but because I am attracted to people who are really independent and who prefer that I am the same way. People get overbearing very easily to me. So what it usually means when a guy is being distant and completely unneedy is that he's not really all that interested. As soon as a guy is interested, he calls too much, assumes too much, is too unnatural and it pushes me away immediately. I already forsee this with the current boy. Too many questions, too much desire to do things like talk on the phone (something I reserve until I actually have some interest in conversing on such a device), too eager to plan too long of dates. We'll see how it goes but the cynic in me is already feeling the runaway. I mean, he's too young for one thing. Our lives are totally different and our outlooks on life are as well. Not sure why I bother getting myself into such ridiculous situations considering when I like someone, I know it.
Food:
6:45 a.m. - coffee and creamer
11:00 a.m. - Some Indian food package thing that was pretty healthy and very good
1 ish - A small piece of brownie that one of my co-workers made. Too attractive to pass up.
4:30 p.m. - Fiber bar
6 p.m. - a few pieces of cheese
7:30 p.m. - leftover fish and vegetables with some fresh mozarrella in strawberry balsamic on the side
8:30 p.m. - a few spoonfuls of ice cream
Throughout the night - more cheese, some granola at some point. I don't know exactly but I know I couldn't seem to stop wanting food which would explain why I am only down .6 from yesterday when I was up.
In other news, I am going on a date Friday. Dates are things I'm not too keen on. Don't get me wrong. I love getting to know guys and when that butterfly excited feeling hits, I'm all in favor. But that rarely comes from meeting a guy one time, thinking he is sort of alright, and accepting a date with him. Only once in my life have I truly been interested in a guy I met once and exchanged numbers with and that was probably because he was in no place for a relationship so he was distanced. I only like guys who do not like me... not because I have some masochistic tendency toward self-afflicted heartbreak, but because I am attracted to people who are really independent and who prefer that I am the same way. People get overbearing very easily to me. So what it usually means when a guy is being distant and completely unneedy is that he's not really all that interested. As soon as a guy is interested, he calls too much, assumes too much, is too unnatural and it pushes me away immediately. I already forsee this with the current boy. Too many questions, too much desire to do things like talk on the phone (something I reserve until I actually have some interest in conversing on such a device), too eager to plan too long of dates. We'll see how it goes but the cynic in me is already feeling the runaway. I mean, he's too young for one thing. Our lives are totally different and our outlooks on life are as well. Not sure why I bother getting myself into such ridiculous situations considering when I like someone, I know it.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Thought I ate Healthy enough but the Weight Still Isnt Dropping
So I made a point to eat healthy this weekend, save for a few beers on Sunday that were not really supposed to be a part of my 16 day challenge. Either way, I didn't have a food cheat day but this morning I was back up a couple of pounds. This weight loss thing is depressing when it isn't working. I used to be able to stay focused for a few weeks and drop weight rapidly. Now it's been over a month and my best day I was down 10 lbs, the first 5 of which were totally ridiculous excess pounds that dropped pretty quickly. Actually I suppose I was down 11 lbs on my best day, which was Sunday. Nowhere near where I want to be and I know that this is normal speed of weight loss... just not what my body used to do. I guess it's true that we all take our young metabolisms for granted. I didn't think mine would change because it sort of stopped being great when I was 16 and I've had to be careful since then. At 26 though, I'm definitely noticing the struggles.
Friday I came home and went to sleep really early. It took me two and a half hours to get home thanks to the craziness of snow plows and spun out cars and all that. I was in a horrible mood about a million things so I just crashed. We had no one in school and it was technically the easiest day of work every but still managed to be frustrating.
Food:
6:45 a.m. - Coffee and creamer
11:00 a.m. - Lean Cuisine
Not sure but I think I had some Greek yogurt or something at some point. No, it was one of those little fiber bars.
7:00 p.m. some granola and a low-carb tortilla that were supposed to be a snack but ended up being dinner because I fell asleep.
Saturday:
around 10 a.m. - made an omelet with two egg whites, one egg, green pepper, onion, Canadian Bacon, goat cheese, Parmesiano Reggiano, and I think that't it.
Kept wanting to snack so I had a small amount of granola (not no carb so maybe there is my problem)
I need another jar of peanut butter
Delicious Greek Yogurt no sugar added smoothie from a place I just discovered. It's called Cassava's and I ate this little jalepeno bread thing too. Oye, carbs. It was super tiny though. Like the size of a donut hole.
Dinner was a Lean Cuisine pizza before going out. Stuck to vodka sodas all night and did not eat late night except for a couple of bites of turkey and cheese rolled up.
Sunday
10 a.m. - Grande skim latte
11:00 a.m. - Another omelet made the same way
12:30 p.m. - Bloody Mary x 3
5:00 p.m. - Lots of hummus with pita and then chicken over hummus from Zad... a delicious Med restaurant I went to with Swoowsk, her brother and mom. It was a delightful dinner full of entertaining stories of my favorite siblings' childhood.
Didn't eat again but enjoyed some beers while watching the Super Bowl. That's about it for that.
Monday was back to work but the day was alright. I'm running out of groceries but need to make it through the week because I am really running low on cash.
6:45 a.m. - coffee and creamer
11:00 a.m. - lean cuisine
3:00 p.m. - Greek Yogurt with peach
6 p.m. - almonds
7:30 p.m. - Herb crusted fish with vegetables in Parmesiano Reggiano *sp?
10 p.m. - Smoothie made with raspberries, blueberries and blackberries with Greek yogurt, half and half and cinnamon
Friday I came home and went to sleep really early. It took me two and a half hours to get home thanks to the craziness of snow plows and spun out cars and all that. I was in a horrible mood about a million things so I just crashed. We had no one in school and it was technically the easiest day of work every but still managed to be frustrating.
Food:
6:45 a.m. - Coffee and creamer
11:00 a.m. - Lean Cuisine
Not sure but I think I had some Greek yogurt or something at some point. No, it was one of those little fiber bars.
7:00 p.m. some granola and a low-carb tortilla that were supposed to be a snack but ended up being dinner because I fell asleep.
Saturday:
around 10 a.m. - made an omelet with two egg whites, one egg, green pepper, onion, Canadian Bacon, goat cheese, Parmesiano Reggiano, and I think that't it.
Kept wanting to snack so I had a small amount of granola (not no carb so maybe there is my problem)
I need another jar of peanut butter
Delicious Greek Yogurt no sugar added smoothie from a place I just discovered. It's called Cassava's and I ate this little jalepeno bread thing too. Oye, carbs. It was super tiny though. Like the size of a donut hole.
Dinner was a Lean Cuisine pizza before going out. Stuck to vodka sodas all night and did not eat late night except for a couple of bites of turkey and cheese rolled up.
Sunday
10 a.m. - Grande skim latte
11:00 a.m. - Another omelet made the same way
12:30 p.m. - Bloody Mary x 3
5:00 p.m. - Lots of hummus with pita and then chicken over hummus from Zad... a delicious Med restaurant I went to with Swoowsk, her brother and mom. It was a delightful dinner full of entertaining stories of my favorite siblings' childhood.
Didn't eat again but enjoyed some beers while watching the Super Bowl. That's about it for that.
Monday was back to work but the day was alright. I'm running out of groceries but need to make it through the week because I am really running low on cash.
6:45 a.m. - coffee and creamer
11:00 a.m. - lean cuisine
3:00 p.m. - Greek Yogurt with peach
6 p.m. - almonds
7:30 p.m. - Herb crusted fish with vegetables in Parmesiano Reggiano *sp?
10 p.m. - Smoothie made with raspberries, blueberries and blackberries with Greek yogurt, half and half and cinnamon
Friday, February 4, 2011
Snowmaggedon 2011
So the last three days were insanely awesome for the most part though I doubt they were great on my diet. I'll find out for sure when I get home... I suppose I'll find a lot of things out when I get home. Like if my pipes are still in tact and if there is anywhere to park with in a .5 mi radius of my place.
So Tuesday they predicted that a massive, historical, record-breaking storm would be hitting around 2-3 p.m. and they were dead on. Most schools, offices and other establishments announced that they would be closed on Wednesday before Tuesday even began. Not CPS. CPS doesn't freely declare snow days. There hadn't been one in 12 years so everyone said not to get too excited. All announcements warned a life-threatening "do not travel at all" situation was on the rise, but no way was CPS buying that. In all reality, we should have had an early dismissal. It would have saved a lot of people a lot of trouble. I got sub plans ready. No way was I driving in a storm half as bad as the one they were predicting. I didn't need to worry. As the snow started to raid the air at 2:30 it was clear that they were not exaggerating this storm. Within an hour, the world was entirely white and it was showing no signs of slowing. Just after student dismissal at 3:30 p.m., the mayor announced a closing of all CPS schools, which resulted in teachers running through the now-vacant hallways high-fiving and hugging with delight before quickly packing our things and hitting the road. Luckily, I was heading to my parents' place to get snowed-in rather than brave the city. This turned out to be one of the smartest decisions I have ever made as my general route home from work, Lake Shore Drive, turned into one of the biggest disasters of the situation, with people stuck on it for 12 hours. All things considered, my ride to Orland Park was rather pleasant. Slow, yes, but moving. I walked in to my sister and mom and dad preparing a delightful stew and pouring glasses of wine so I quickly changed into some sweat pants and we all reminisced about snow days past - my parents regailing the group with tails of the great snow storm of '67 and how they jumped off roofs and will never forget it. Even the dogs seemed fascinated.
We continued to pour ourselves a few drinks and played some Trivial Pursuit and Cranium with my sister's boyfriend joining the mix as we let the powers that be coat our large city in a raging, yet eerily peaceful white. We stayed up discussing life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness until the wee hours of the morning. The next morning we slept in, made some breakfast and of course hit the snow as soon as the storm stopped. Never have I seen anything like the white covering the world. Most major streets were still blocked, let alone smaller streets. We played Scrabble, then went out and built a snowman. Hadn't done so since I was a kid. Being the family that we are, building a snowman would not have been enough to make this snowstorm memorable so of course we had our bikinis under our outerwear which we shed to take pictures with the snowman, have a quick, cold fight, and all run straight into the jacuzzi and cracked open a few beers. Mom made another delicious dinner and I came up to a fascinating text stating that CPS was now closed for the second day in 12 years. Unreal!
The next day was not quite as exciting, but I did go to breakfast with Swoowski as the roads around us were pretty clear by this point and we then went with my mom and sister to the movies to see No Strings Attached, an excellent film which I give my highest recommendation. It is the finest romantic comedy I have seen in quite some time and even boys would enjoy it. It brings very interesting relationship situations to light with the ideas of blurring the lines between friends and sex and what it is like to be an independent woman who has love but doesn't want to admit she is vulnerable. Went out to eat and then got ready to brave what I feel will be a rather interesting Friday before a weekend. This break was exactly what I needed for my morale.
Food:
Tuesday:
6:45 a.m. - Coffee and creamer
11:00 a.m. - Turkey Wrap on low-carb tortilla with swiss, hummus, lettuce and avocado
3:00 p.m. - Greek yogurt with cherry
6 p.m. - Wasa toast with Chocolate Almond Butter - this is my mom's newest snack and it is low-carb/low cal and absolutely delicious. I will be stocking up the next time I find myself in the grocery store.
7:30 p.m. - Beef stew with a small piece of Asiago bread and a delicious salad
A couple of light beers and another piece of Asiago bread later.
Wednesday:
11:00 a.m. - Breakfast sandwich with Sandwich thin, Canadian bacon, colby cheese, egg and hot sauce
6 p.m. - Wasa toast with laughing cow cheese - I love all of the new varieties they have come out with of this - particularly sundried-tomato and basil.
7:30 ish p.m. - My mom made a chicken casserole - probably wasn't the absolute most healthy but it was really delicious and couldn't have been two bad either but I did have an extra half serving and a salad with it.
9 p.m. - Fiber bar
Thursday:
11:30 a.m. - Egg scramble with egg whites, chicken breast, avocado, red pepper and swiss with two small multi-grain pancakes
4:45 p.m. - Fiber bar
8:00 p.m. - Split with Swoowsk - Small vegetable flatbread, lettuce wraps, hummus and pita
OK so it would seem as though I actually ate really healthy if I am counting everything I ate and not forgetting anything. I clearly let go of the no-carb thing becuase my mom was cooking so I was at her mercy but it was delicious and we'll see how much damage I actually did. Swoowsk and I made an arangement last night to eat super healthy low-carb and work out for 16 days straight with absolutely no cheat days and then on President's Day, at the end of those 16 days, we will go to Cheesecake Factory or somewhere delicious for one fabulous cheat meal and then back at it. We figure this gives us a lot of motivation and we can definitely see a pretty big difference in 16 days if we stick with it. Today I had to pack a lunch from what my mom had so no-carb was impossible. I'll eat healthy but the no-carb part of this will have to start tomorrow.
This day is sort of ridiculous. We have about 30% attendance in our school and a half day for students. At least I should be able to get some things done (like all the things I should be doing right now instead of blogging). My 6 present journalism students are probably goofing around on the computers but hey, they have 22 minute classes. Let them be. They showed up. Interested to see what my parking situation is going to be like when I get home. Maybe I'll try to go tanning. No idea what my plans are this weekend except for a date to watch the Super Bowl on Sunday which I'm not sure what to make of yet. So many exciting things in my life!
So Tuesday they predicted that a massive, historical, record-breaking storm would be hitting around 2-3 p.m. and they were dead on. Most schools, offices and other establishments announced that they would be closed on Wednesday before Tuesday even began. Not CPS. CPS doesn't freely declare snow days. There hadn't been one in 12 years so everyone said not to get too excited. All announcements warned a life-threatening "do not travel at all" situation was on the rise, but no way was CPS buying that. In all reality, we should have had an early dismissal. It would have saved a lot of people a lot of trouble. I got sub plans ready. No way was I driving in a storm half as bad as the one they were predicting. I didn't need to worry. As the snow started to raid the air at 2:30 it was clear that they were not exaggerating this storm. Within an hour, the world was entirely white and it was showing no signs of slowing. Just after student dismissal at 3:30 p.m., the mayor announced a closing of all CPS schools, which resulted in teachers running through the now-vacant hallways high-fiving and hugging with delight before quickly packing our things and hitting the road. Luckily, I was heading to my parents' place to get snowed-in rather than brave the city. This turned out to be one of the smartest decisions I have ever made as my general route home from work, Lake Shore Drive, turned into one of the biggest disasters of the situation, with people stuck on it for 12 hours. All things considered, my ride to Orland Park was rather pleasant. Slow, yes, but moving. I walked in to my sister and mom and dad preparing a delightful stew and pouring glasses of wine so I quickly changed into some sweat pants and we all reminisced about snow days past - my parents regailing the group with tails of the great snow storm of '67 and how they jumped off roofs and will never forget it. Even the dogs seemed fascinated.
We continued to pour ourselves a few drinks and played some Trivial Pursuit and Cranium with my sister's boyfriend joining the mix as we let the powers that be coat our large city in a raging, yet eerily peaceful white. We stayed up discussing life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness until the wee hours of the morning. The next morning we slept in, made some breakfast and of course hit the snow as soon as the storm stopped. Never have I seen anything like the white covering the world. Most major streets were still blocked, let alone smaller streets. We played Scrabble, then went out and built a snowman. Hadn't done so since I was a kid. Being the family that we are, building a snowman would not have been enough to make this snowstorm memorable so of course we had our bikinis under our outerwear which we shed to take pictures with the snowman, have a quick, cold fight, and all run straight into the jacuzzi and cracked open a few beers. Mom made another delicious dinner and I came up to a fascinating text stating that CPS was now closed for the second day in 12 years. Unreal!
The next day was not quite as exciting, but I did go to breakfast with Swoowski as the roads around us were pretty clear by this point and we then went with my mom and sister to the movies to see No Strings Attached, an excellent film which I give my highest recommendation. It is the finest romantic comedy I have seen in quite some time and even boys would enjoy it. It brings very interesting relationship situations to light with the ideas of blurring the lines between friends and sex and what it is like to be an independent woman who has love but doesn't want to admit she is vulnerable. Went out to eat and then got ready to brave what I feel will be a rather interesting Friday before a weekend. This break was exactly what I needed for my morale.
Food:
Tuesday:
6:45 a.m. - Coffee and creamer
11:00 a.m. - Turkey Wrap on low-carb tortilla with swiss, hummus, lettuce and avocado
3:00 p.m. - Greek yogurt with cherry
6 p.m. - Wasa toast with Chocolate Almond Butter - this is my mom's newest snack and it is low-carb/low cal and absolutely delicious. I will be stocking up the next time I find myself in the grocery store.
7:30 p.m. - Beef stew with a small piece of Asiago bread and a delicious salad
A couple of light beers and another piece of Asiago bread later.
Wednesday:
11:00 a.m. - Breakfast sandwich with Sandwich thin, Canadian bacon, colby cheese, egg and hot sauce
6 p.m. - Wasa toast with laughing cow cheese - I love all of the new varieties they have come out with of this - particularly sundried-tomato and basil.
7:30 ish p.m. - My mom made a chicken casserole - probably wasn't the absolute most healthy but it was really delicious and couldn't have been two bad either but I did have an extra half serving and a salad with it.
9 p.m. - Fiber bar
Thursday:
11:30 a.m. - Egg scramble with egg whites, chicken breast, avocado, red pepper and swiss with two small multi-grain pancakes
4:45 p.m. - Fiber bar
8:00 p.m. - Split with Swoowsk - Small vegetable flatbread, lettuce wraps, hummus and pita
OK so it would seem as though I actually ate really healthy if I am counting everything I ate and not forgetting anything. I clearly let go of the no-carb thing becuase my mom was cooking so I was at her mercy but it was delicious and we'll see how much damage I actually did. Swoowsk and I made an arangement last night to eat super healthy low-carb and work out for 16 days straight with absolutely no cheat days and then on President's Day, at the end of those 16 days, we will go to Cheesecake Factory or somewhere delicious for one fabulous cheat meal and then back at it. We figure this gives us a lot of motivation and we can definitely see a pretty big difference in 16 days if we stick with it. Today I had to pack a lunch from what my mom had so no-carb was impossible. I'll eat healthy but the no-carb part of this will have to start tomorrow.
This day is sort of ridiculous. We have about 30% attendance in our school and a half day for students. At least I should be able to get some things done (like all the things I should be doing right now instead of blogging). My 6 present journalism students are probably goofing around on the computers but hey, they have 22 minute classes. Let them be. They showed up. Interested to see what my parking situation is going to be like when I get home. Maybe I'll try to go tanning. No idea what my plans are this weekend except for a date to watch the Super Bowl on Sunday which I'm not sure what to make of yet. So many exciting things in my life!
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