This weekend started out with good ideas and hope. I already ate too much at school because though I brought a tuna sandwich and greek yogurt, the staff lounge was filled with absolutely amazing things thanks to the Honor Roll Breakfast and Planning Potluck. I knew I was going to Tuscany so I figured I'd just make Friday a cheat day and get back on track Saturday , knowing that I'd be going no-carb on Monday. I got home with the intention of working out or cleaning before hopping in the shower, but of course did neither. It was about 10 degrees out and it turns out, the heat in my place is rather horrific. The thermostat read 62. Little did I know that no matter how high I turned the heat up, this would not raise until the outside temperature did today, Monday. Because it was so cold, I sat myself in a blanket for an hour and then got ready for Tuscany.
On my way with Michelle, I got rear-ended on 90/94 as a perfect continuation of my crappy car week. It was so cold and we were already so late for dinner that I was extra frustrated. My car is a beast and bore not a single scratch while the poor individual who ran into me had much damage on his own part. He was rather angry and I felt bad because though he was obviously following too closely, I did hit my breaks rather hard. Michelle and I had to wait about an hour and a half at Tuscany, which was all the same since we'd have just sat there forever anyway. We enjoyed a beautiful dinner and when I got back at 11:30, I just went straight to bed.
Food:
6:45 a.m. - coffee and creamer
11:00 a.m. - Greek Yogurt
11:30 a.m. - piece of butter cake and a piece of banana bread
1:00 p.m. - tuna sandwich, a bit of fried rice
3 p.m. - brownie
9 p.m. - lots of bread and olive oil
10 p.m. - Butternut Squash Ravioli in brown butter sage..... so worth it
Also - two martinis and a glass of wine
Saturday - I woke up late and was so cold all day I could barely function. Due to the snow tracks and disaster that is my floor, I realized I seriously needed to clean. I put on some warm clothes and cleaned the place up but my toes were so cold I couldn't feel them even wearing two pair of fuzzy socks and Uggs. I realized that my vents were only blowing out or up which is a huge problem when you live on the first floor and your vents are at the top of the walls. Good to know that if I cared to sit on a ladder on the top two feet of my place that I might experience some heat. I unscrewed all of them and flipped them upside down trying to get them to aim some of the heat down. A while after switching and angling one of them, it fell down, shattering two martini glasses that left shards of glass from one end of my just-cleaned condo to the other. One of them was a really awesome Pottery Barn martini glass that was jet black with a light grey skull on the inside and I don't think it can be replaced. The other was from World Market and wasn't quite as nice or unique but disappointing nonetheless, not to mention the fact that there is probably still glass because it's almost impossible to know you got it all when something shatters from one end of the room to the other like that. I was supposed to go out but it got to the point where I was so cold that I couldn't face the thought of getting ready and going outside and spending money on a cab or waiting in the cold for the el so I stayed on my couch all day after cleaning, not even finishing the laundry I started. There is still wet laundry in the washer. Not the most productive or glorious of days.
Food:
12:30 p.m. - coffee and creamer
1:30 p.m. - Grilled cheese. I used one of those sandwich thins, a slice of Kraft American, some goat cheese, Parmesan, tomato and sauteed onion. Delicious.
7 p.m. - Indian food - Chicken Tikki Masala with Paneer cheese. Probably wouldn't have been too terrible if not for the rice and naan. Like I said, this weekend was a waste of my life in many ways. I was way too cold to work out, though if I would have, it might have created some heat at least.
Brings me to Sunday. Super super depressing Sunday. Woke up and grocery shopped to get a bunch of carb-free food to fill myself on this week. Swoowsk met up with me and we met a bunch of friends at Vines to watch the Bears-Packers NFC champsionship. The loss was heart-wrenching and I continued to stay out drinking pretty much all day and night, resulting in today's headache. In addition to the devastating loss of the Bears, I felt very confronted with the bleakness that is the next few months. It's cold and grey, just a lot of lame work, I'm bored and lonely. I really just want to meet someone I have fun with who appreciates me and is not selfish but thinking about yesterday's conversations all day, sometimes I wonder if there is a such thing as a man who is not selfish. In any case, I am really sick of being second place or worse in everything and that's very much how I feel right now. I want a man who sees me as his number one, not just the best available option at that very moment or at that particular time, which is all I've been to any man I've so much as glanced at in the last three years. It's more than old. In other news, I found a beautiful wedding dress thanks to Michelle introducing me to the best site ever.
I also am realizing just how very poor I am and am currently wondering how I will even get through the next few weeks on my unbelievably limited funds and the knowledge that I have to pay a mortgage, bills, and my credit card.... the thought makes me sick because I'm pretty sure it's going to be impossible and I don't even buy things.
Food for Sunday:
9:30 a.m. - Coffee and oatmeal with brown sugar and cinnamon
1 p.m. - Flat bread artichoke and goat cheese pizza
9 p.m - Frozen Yogurt with pomegranate, graham cracker and coconut
10:30 p.m. - burrito. Yes, I really did this after having the frozen yogurt. I am ridiculous and destined to be fat my entire life.
In other news, I watched a ton of totally pointless movies all weekend. Seriously need to get myself together.
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